i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
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