This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize