It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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