so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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