well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
