so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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