I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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