dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My feet surprised me
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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