accomplished twins. life is a go
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
