Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
His nipple licking is glorious
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