I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
