I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
