somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
