like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
