How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
