Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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