You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
