Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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