she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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