dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I deserve this hangover.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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