arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He passed out mid-signature
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Your cock deserves a montage
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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