I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
