Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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