I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
