I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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