There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
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Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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