8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
