I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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