There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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