Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
