Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
