I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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