He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
