She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
