Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
