STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize