On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She made me pour olive oil on her.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
