cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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