i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize