I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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