I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
