I seem to have left my pride at pride
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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