She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
