But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
