I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
