Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
sex in a hospital.. check
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
