You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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