ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
