her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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