is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
