Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
