Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
