2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
