naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
