i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
