is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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