We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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