Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
