Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
