it hurts more in the daytime
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
